To Remember and Embrace

Colossians 3:17

And whatever you do in word or deed,
do all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

I am trying to remember this daily. I am to reflect Christ in good or bad. In the storm or sunshine I am to give thanks to God because He is good and loves me no matter what I may see or feel. The last few days have tested me in this and I am afraid I might have failed. I cried out with a "why" and an "I don't understand" when I should have lifted my face to God and added "but you know best and I will trust in you." This is always hard for me because I want to know. I have always been that way. I want reasons whenever anyone does anything that involves me. In the last 48 hours God has taken me by the hand and said, "trust me my child. I love you and through this pain you will come out more refined. Trust me my child." I am always amazed how patient He is with me. I keep falling on my face and he picks me up, brushes me off, and takes me by the hand once more. He is truly an amazing God. That being said even this morning I found myself questioning, and wanting more definite answers. Then He came along side me and reminded me of this:

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you says the LORD.
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.
Plans to give you a hope and a future

Oh how quickly I forget all the promises He has given me through His word! I only see a pinprick of time and I get so focused on that tiny spot that I can't back up and see the whole brilliant night sky with all its constellations, beauty and its entirety. I see one star and cry out because I don't understand how this works into the rest of the cosmos. Why is it so hard to remember that what I want, what I think I need, what I see as being best, may not be God's plan for my life. Then again it might be but He might have a different way of putting it together than I would. I sigh with a smile and almost laugh because even while I am writing this I am battling with everything I know about God and His promises that I am working to remember and embrace. He is good and knows everything that is going on and is working out for the best. I am flawed and must raise my hands to Him hourly in surrender. Its just so hard sometimes.
~Meran~