One day at a time

   

 



           When I remembered the time in my life that this blog covers I remember it being so easy. I remember just sailing along with weight loss and sticking to my plan like super glue. Those memories have, in a lot of ways, crippled my attempts at getting healthy since. I have allowed those memories of breezing through 50 lbs of weight loss in 4 months to cloud my judgment and to greatly influence every emotion I had towards getting back in the saddle. Then I decided to actually re read the blog for encouragement, maybe reading my own words would help light the fire again. What I discovered was that I had fantasized and glorified the time line and my progress. I hadn't remembered the fact that my journey had span over a year instead of the 5 months or so that I had in my head. I realized that I slipped and failed more than I had EVER remembered. but most of all I realized that the devilish holidays that I thought did me in last time, actually were just a blip on the radar and I had made it though just fine. all of these lies that I had unknowingly told myself had added up into an impossible bar to reach and so I quit before I even started. So sad

So I am glad to say that today officially marks the 6th day of my life long transformation. I have learned a lot in the last few years and have been forced to see the past as it is, instead of though rose colored glasses. I have tried a few at home type programs with exercise videos and meal plans and have discovered that that is just not for me. It works for a LOT of people but I am not one of them. I have tried joining a lot of "cheaper" gym options to save a buck and after a bit it just fell flat because they didn't proved enough verity, unlike the 24 hour fitness I was a part of during the time I was successfully losing weight.



Finally, after re-reading this blog, something felt like it just fell into place. I went to the nearest 24 Hour Fitness and signed up for a year. If that was the only gym that was going to work in m mind, I'd be damned to let that little block get in my way any more. Enough is enough. Its time to tackle this monster to the ground! It wont be easy and it will take a long time to loose my weight but the truth is, keeping this monster  chained up will probably take a lifetime. That is something I have finally come to grips with. The weight is just a symptom of habits and mindsets that have developed for the last 27 years and it will take at least that long to break them if not longer.

I will have good day's and I will have bad days but in the end I will come out victorious! how do I know this? Because I have a wonderful man that is 100% supporting me and I have a God who loves me very much supporting both of us. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.