A sweet sweet habit

Let me start off by saying I have made progress. I have worked out almost every day, I have actually lost weight, I am sleeping better but I am still making choices I shouldn't. Yes, you guessed it, Chocolate is that bad decisions name. Yesterday I was running on only a few hours of sleep because of a decently disturbing sleep talking exchange I had with Steven. Trying to fight sleep deprivation at work I turned to the two things that have long been my energy buddies, Starbucks and Chocolate. The caffeine and sugar combo is a bit of a magical potion for me. Even as i was buying the chocolate I knew, I knew it wasn't a good idea. I had already gone on a walk to try and wake up so I had no other options, right? Wrong! But even though I knew that I still went ahead and ate the whole chocolate bar with my coffee. After the first few squares it lost most of its appeal but I kept eating. I felt guilty afterwards but since it did the trick I decided to let it go. I'm not beating myself up about it, but I think its important to understand decisions, whether right or wrong.

Today Mother nature came a knocking and it has not been a very pleasant day for me today. I did make it to the gym but that was before she had fully settled in and since then it had been an uphill battle. Because of the emotional frustration about the physical pain I was craving chocolate again...so badly. That little tease has always been my go to fix and today I wanted my fix. But I resisted. I didn't want to make yesterdays decision. Instead I came home, curled up on the couch and tried to put it out of my mind. It worked for a little while but I was determined to not make the mistake two days in a row but the beckon of sweet sweet chocolate was calling my name. I decided to look up some small concoctions that I might be able to whip up for my chocolate fix without "breaking the bank". I found a great mousse recipe wand was really very excited. Well one thing led to another and my helping ended up being half the batch. 

I guess my point is that even though I started out making the right decision today, I didn't follow through with it. In the end, follow through might matter more than intention. Its hard to think about but its a good lesson to learn earlier on in the process.